a friend of mine has given me a mountain bike, it’s a good un too with a thousand gears and disc brakes. I went and bought a set of lights, a bell and a lock for it today. So I went out tonight for a ride round with my new lights blazing away. Near where I live there is a sloping pathway with a 4 foot brick wall on both sides and barriers set on alternate sides to stop pillocks like me from riding pushbikes down the slope. Now I might be getting on a bit but I’m still 18 between the ears so I think, this is easy I can do this no problem! After passing the first barrier it dawns on me that there ain’t much room between the barrier and brick wall. I had got a fair head of steam up and a slight wobble made me clip the barrier with the front brake lever 
Now these modern disc brakes are pretty good, so good in fact that I went straight over the feckkin handlebars and into the brick wall. Tha bike then landed on me as I went sliding down the footpath only stopping when I hit the next barrier
luckily it was dark and no one saw me Bruised and battered but still alive (just)
Pushbikes! You get what deserve. 
